My daughter needed a ride home from a seminar in downtown Philly. I thought hmmmm…… late afternoon - center city - my eternal beer craving…..do you know where this is leading? We went to the London Grill. It’s located just off the Ben Franklin Parkway. I often thought of renaming this website “Poor Larry’s Happy Hour”, or say things like, ”A Hennessy saved is a Hennessy earned”. I want my own parkway too, damnit. Anyway, I called the wife to inform her of our plans and her answer was, “you had better pick up my working ass!!!”

Lori, my daughter, tells me that a few lawyers will be joining us for happy hour. I don’t think they knew what they were getting themselves into. The bride and I arrived first and grabbed a table. Shortly after, two guys wearing nice suits walk through the door. We figure that they were the lawyers. Here is how the meeting went:

My bride: I think you guys are with us.

Lawyer: I don’t think so, Lady.

My bride: No, really, I think your with us.

Lawyer: Ummmm….no, I don’t think so.

So, we sit across from each other for a few minutes. Finally, Lori arrives with Brian and Jim, two more lawyers. She says to the first two guys, “have you met my parents?” Much to their surprise, they were with us. So to settle the awkwardness, I ask how every thing was going at the law firm of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe? A word of advice - Lawyers don’t find that joke funny.

A few beers and a bunch of wines later, I decided that these guys were OK. At first, they may have been put off by my attire. I wore a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. You can take the kid out of Port Richmond, but you can’t take the Port Richmond out of the kid.** The first two guys were Chuck and Jack, they had to leave early because of their drive back to Pittsburgh.

LaRayne, our waitress, served up our food faster than Al Roker’s record breaking Luge time. We chomped on some half priced burgers, cheesesteaks, and fish and chips. The food was great and it was time for dessert. Brian suggested a round of kamikazes. I like the way these lawyers think. I opted for a shot of Christian Brother’s Brandy. Ok, a large glass of Christian Brother’s Brandy.

Brian and Jim were telling some stories and jokes. I found out that Jim was also a veteran of UPS. I told him that I am retired after 30 years, he said he quit after 30 minutes. I guess not everyone looks as good as I do in the brown uniform. He also said something about not liking to “handle packages.“

As always, we stayed longer than happy hour. We knew it was time to leave when my bride started arguing landmark court cases, such as, Brown v. The Board of Education(1954). I started arguing Barstool v. Larry’s Ass(2002) and Beer v. Larry’s Bladder(2002) Both are landmark cases in my eyes.

I think that Brian, Jim, Chuck, and Jack enjoyed themselves. I know I did. I have decided to find more lawyers to drink with. I didn’t think anyone could tell as many stories as me….despite the fact that their lips were moving. ---- I couldn’t resist another lawyer joke.

**For the lawyers in Pittsburgh - Larry grew up in a 3 bedroom house in Port Richmond that was smaller than your office.