We just got back from a 7 day cruise to Nova Scotia. We went with our good friends, Jane and Al. I think this was our 3rd cruise up north. Frankly, I don't care where the ship takes us, just as long as we are waited on hand and foot. You could dock the ship in my driveway and I would have just as much fun.

We left out of New York, which is about a 2 hour ride from Philly. Now, when I take a vacation, I really take a vacation. That two hour ride wasn't a problem, because Ed, our chauffer, drove very carefully. The 12 seat stretch limo provided ample room for the 4 of us to enjoy a few tasty cocktails and lounge all the way up to New York. The drinks of choice consisted of champagne, scotch, gin and tonic, and of course, beer. Being carted around in a limo ain't a bad deal. When we arrived at the ship, we were greeted by some people asking if we needed assistance. I didn't get that kind of service when we hired a van to drive us up to New York. We did look very happy getting out of the limo__.maybe they though we were nuts and we won a trip from the Make a Wish Foundation or something.

The last cruise we went on we had the big room with the balcony, but it was so damn foggy you couldn't see a thing. So, this time we opted for the smaller room. Word of advice__..get the bigger room. Our room was so small. How small was it? It was so small that when I put the key in the door I broke the window_..It was so small I had to go out in the hallway to change my mind__.. It was so small I couldn't even jump to a conclusion. Either way, go with the bigger room.

It was a casual dinner the first evening. We met with staff who would be serving us for the week. Our table guy was named A.A. and his helper was Bang Bang. The booze girl was named Balinda. They were from the Philippines, so I didn't question the names. With everything going on in the world, I was little uncomfortable with a foreigner named Bang Bang always standing behind me. And I always make it a point to never offend anyone who will be handling my food.

On the first night, needless to say, we drank at every bar on the ship. I kept calling the bartender Issac and kept asking where was Gopher and Doc. He didn't get it. What did he expect, we were drinking since noon.

Now, drinking from noon on Friday until the wee small hours was fun, but let me tell you what isn't fun__ getting up to go on a tour the next morning isn't fun. We had to be ready by 7:30am. Do you know what else had to be ready by 7:30am? My Bloody Mary!

Alright, this was the first time we ever had to be tendered to land from the ship. The water was choppy as hell and it made for a lousy ride. My plan for every tour is to break away to find a bar. Martha's Vineyard is nice , but no bar. They do have a bunch of grapes though. I expected to be drinking wine all day. So, this day was uneventful. I am going to fast forward a bit.

Tender back to the boat_.eat dinner__go to the bar__ see a show with a bunch of people singing_..go to bed__. 5 minutes later the alarm clock goes off!!!!!

We have a tour of Portland today. Broom Hilda was our tour guide. Geez, I have never seen such a crabby woman. She talked more about politics than the sightseeing stuff that everyone wanted to hear. Get a load of this_.. A guy gets up to use the restroom and she yells at him to get back to his seat. She said the restroom was only for emergencies. So a few minutes later the guys gets up and walks back to the restroom and she asked if it was an emergency. He said, "I wouldn't be headed back there if it wasn't and I'm getting tired of hearing your voice." Everyone applauded.

We finally find a bar named Bull Feeney's. This was a great bar.

___.This story will be continued next week. Check out this pictures of the trip.