As I was saying___.. We get to Bull Feeney's in Portland. Our bartender, Michael, made us feel right at home. He even climbed on top of the bar to take a picture of us. Michael is a school teacher and tends bar part-time. Their Happy Hour started at 4:30 and we had to be back on the boat by 3:00. I don't think Captain Stubing would have held the boat for us. So, we finished our drinks and headed back to the ship. The scenery in Portland was breathtaking__ at least whatever it was that we saw going to and from Bull Feeney's.

We get back to the boat and dress for dinner. This night was Captain's Night. Listen to this__. You actually get to take a picture with the captain and shake his hand. Well, I didn't think I could contain myself. You mean, I can actually stand in line for a half hour and shake the captain's hand? Yeah right__. I gave him a Benny Hill salute from across the room and headed to the bar. We ate, we drank, we had fun. I thought of standing in line just so I could ask him why the hell the tours start so damn early in the morning.

Here we are again, at 6:30 in the morning trying to scarf down a muffin and some coffee before the ship docks. This upsets my routine beyond belief. Usually my day doesn't start until after the second episode of Jerry Springer. Anyway, we pull into Halifax and we are greeted by the Scottish Guard playing those heavy drums. This was one of the nicest ports that we have seen. There was no bus tour today, so the bride and I hopped into a cab and went to the Maritime Museum. Jane and Al decided to stay behind and try their luck in the casino. After the museum, we were going to meet up with Jane and Al, but when we turned the corner to hail a cab, we saw Murphy's. We stopped in and had a few beers. Nice place, but we needed to get back to the ship_..again. I have a complaint...... The boat people need to allow time for Happy Hour. I think I will request that on our next cruise. My bride doesn't think I should. She says I live in my own little world. As a matter of fact, she calls it "LarryLand." A land where everything you touch turns to beer, none of the luncheon meats raise your cholestrol, and all the faucets flow with Gin and Tonic.

We find Jane and Al in the casino and tell them that we will be in the lounge. As we walked away, my bride suggests taking a picture of Jane and Al in the casino. So, I get the camera out and line up my shot and snap the picture. It would have been a great picture had it not been for 10 security guards that grabbed the camera and almost tackled me to the floor. The guard starts yelling about how you are not supposed to take pictures in a casino and security breaches and gambling fraud. But when he actually took a minute and looked at us, I think he realized he was wasting his time. I know that from the back we look like George Clooney and Julia Roberts from "Ocean's Eleven", but we weren't trying to rob the casino. My bride is the eternal mediator and says to the guard, "That was the first picture on the roll, take the camera, just don't throw us in jail__. And could you direct us to the bar."

We needed a beer after that incident. So, we go to the lounge with Jane and Al. Our bartender's name was Bob and he claimed to be the first bartender hired when gambling was introduced to the Province. That's great Bob, how about you be the first bartender to get me a beer in the next 15 seconds.

_.Skipping ahead____we had dinner___.some Indonesian show with people doing cultural dances__.._. Fell asleep during some Indonesian show with people doing cultural dances. _..

We then finished up the night at the Crow's Nest, which featured country line dancing__..I think I've found my calling. Granted, people say I resemble a young Kenny Rogers, you know, if I had a beard, a great singing voice, and a couple million dollars_.. But, I think the likeness is definitely there. Anyway, we had a great time and by the end of the night I was able to master the "Boot Scootin' Boogie."

Question for you_. How many times during a delightful cruise can someone be almost thrown in jail? Is there a record for this? If there is, I think I set it. We were excited on this morning because we were at sea all day and did not need to rush to a tour bus. So, we ate some breakfast, drank some coffee, and started looking over some of the trip information. Who reads the Immigration and Naturalization part of the pamphlets? My bride does. It says "under penalty of law" we need to present our passports and other identification at 9:30am. Well, its now 11:00am!!!____________continued next week.